candycornmassacre:

do you ever see a picture or smell something or even get a random feeling and suddenly something hits you something weird and nostalgic and you’re absolutely sure you associate this picture/smell/feeling/whatever it is with something in your memory, but you can’t remember what it is and you focus on it for a long time until the wavering memory passes and you’re disappointed as shit


forever wondering what my language sounds like to people who can’t speak it


Happy November, everyone!


When someone walks slower than me: omfg your slow ass is clogging up the hallway for the rest of us put some pep in your step grandma
When someone walks faster than me: jesus christ are you on the run from the police this isn't a race you can tone it down usain bolt
When someone walks at the same pace as me: who gave your creepy ass permission to walk with me get the fuck away before I call the cops

angry French person : PUTAIN
amazed French person : PUTAIN
happy French person : PUTAIN
sad French person : PUTAIN
lost French person : PUTAIN
disgusted French person : PUTAIN
horny French person : PUTAIN
bored French person : PUTAIN

kissmeintheraindarling:

my love life will never be satisfactory until someone runs through an airport to stop me from getting on a flight


me: wow I'm actually happy right now
life: lol now hold on just one minute

me: oh man my show is on i'm so excited to sit down and watch television for an hour
mom: turns on every sink in the house grinds coffee beans for five minutes reorganizes every pan in the cupboard starts a rock band

When my friends are talking about movies

What I say: Oh yeah, that guy was in it, he was in some other movies, his name is like...Robert?
What is in my head: Actors full name, age, spouse, birthday, the movies release date, director, full cast, and box office sales.

one of the hardest decisions i will ever make is which fictional character i’m going to name my child after


scientist: the average person spends 18 hours online per week.
me: you mean per day
scientist: what
me: what

❝ I won’t cry for you, my mascara’s too expensive

— Adriana Lima (via monkeyknifefight)

i have so many books to read and so many movies and shows to watch wow my life is so stressful