When someone walks slower than me:
omfg your slow ass is clogging up the hallway for the rest of us put some pep in your step grandma
When someone walks faster than me:
jesus christ are you on the run from the police this isn't a race you can tone it down usain bolt
When someone walks at the same pace as me:
who gave your creepy ass permission to walk with me get the fuck away before I call the cops
wow I'm actually happy right now
lol now hold on just one minute
oh man my show is on i'm so excited to sit down and watch television for an hour
turns on every sink in the house grinds coffee beans for five minutes reorganizes every pan in the cupboard starts a rock band
When my friends are talking about movies
What I say:
Oh yeah, that guy was in it, he was in some other movies, his name is like...Robert?
What is in my head:
Actors full name, age, spouse, birthday, the movies release date, director, full cast, and box office sales.
the average person spends 18 hours online per week.
you mean per day
❝ I won’t cry for you, my mascara’s too expensive