☹
*hears noises at night*: well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
*gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child
*heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
*a cop walks by*: here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
*taking a test*: don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing
*gets a sunburn*: great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents
*tripping over something*: I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me
*period is late*: shit i'm pregnant i'm the next virgin mary

❝ Quiet people have the loudest minds.

— Stephen Hawking (via moaka)

zackisontumblr:

i have 3 moods:

  • skips every song on my ipod
  • lets the music play without interruption
  • plays the same song on repeat for days

My relationship with my followers

Me: ask me anything guys, nothing is off the limits.
Followers:
Me:
Followers:
Me: okay, I'll just reblog some pictures.

encephalopathy:

urban dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions


me: does this look better one pixel to the left or one pixel to the right
me: I can't decide between these two incredibly similar colors
me: should this be on overlay or soft light
me: 75% OR 74% OPACITY

broaaadbean:

who needs april fools my entire life is a joke



broternia:

i hate math tests because all throughout the chapter it’s like really easy shit and then you think you’ve got it and then the test is like 

if i throw a triangle out of a car and the car is going 20 mph and wind resistance is a thing that exists, how many cupcakes can pedro buy with one human soul 


me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
me: omg what if i actually said something out loud
me: omg what if there is a telepath around here

groupprojects:

i think im the most indecisive person but idk maybe not


borinq:

“why cant i be thin”

i whisper as i eat the 4th cookie


I take super hot showers because I like to practice burning in hell